Telling Them
by evieeden
Summary: Sue tries to find the words to tell her children that she's moved on. Advent story written for 14th December.


**Happy 14****th**** December everyone. I hope you enjoy this last one of my Quartet. Apparently it wasn't too painful after all, so I was worried for nothing. Anyway, I hope you enjoy today's story.**

**How do I love idealskeptic, let me count the ways... Also, I don't own Twilight, in case you didn't know that (I hid it well).**

**Telling Them**

I looked at the table critically.

All the places had been set neatly, I had even gone out and retrieved some flowers from the garden to put in a vase in the middle, and there was a large pot roast resting in the oven.

I had dressed carefully tonight, choosing one of my nicer day dresses to wear, instead of just remaining in my RN outfit after work like I usually did. My hair was brushed and tied back neatly, and, in an impulsive moment, I had brushed some lipstick over my mouth. It was far too over the top, but I was nervous and looking half-decent for once was one way to shore up my confidence.

Tonight was the night I was going to tell Seth and Leah that I had moved on, that I was seeing someone other than their father.

I had no clue how either of them would take it.

I was hoping that they'd be happy for me, but at the same time I was braced for the worst.

Harry had been dead for less than a year, and sometimes I did wonder if I was moving on too fast. At the same time, it wasn't like I'd been out trawling around bars looking for male company. My new relationship with Charlie Swan had just happened.

After that awful night where everything had been ripped apart and turned on its head, I hadn't known what to do. My husband had fallen to the floor in the grips of heart attack, my daughter had turned into a wolf, something no-one had thought possible, and my baby boy had also phased, far too young in his case. It was all just a horrible, horrible mess.

I had been forced to travel to the hospital with Harry by myself as my changed children fled into the forest. I already knew the prognosis for my husband wasn't good. Until the ambulance had arrived it had been a struggle just to keep his heart beating. As I sat in the cold, drab waiting room, all I could think was that I should have seen it all coming. I had been nagging Harry for years about his high cholesterol and poor diet, but all the healthy meals and pills at home couldn't combat the junk food and beer when he was out fishing or watching the game. I was a nurse. I should've put my foot down and made him pay more attention to his health, instead of just indulging him and assuming that because he was a grown man he wasn't an idiot.

I had no clue where my children were while their father was fighting for his life. I had made hurried calls to both Billy Black and Sam Uley, telling them what had happened, but in the meantime, I was alone.

And then Charlie had showed up.

He hadn't judged, hadn't questioned me further when I said that Leah and Seth were with friends and out of contact...

He hadn't told me that everything would be fine.

He had been through this before, I guessed, in a professional capacity. He knew there were no promises, no guarantee that a happy ending would be forthcoming. Strangely, it was what I had needed at the time.

So instead he had just sat with me, holding onto my hand while I clung to hope desperately. He was still holding onto my hand when I learned that my hope was all in vain.

He had been there for me.

Harry had been his friend too and he had his own grieving to do, but he had put that aside to make sure that I was coping.

In the time following Harry's passing, Charlie's visits had gradually become my favourite parts of the week.

My children had finally managed to change back to their human forms, just in time for their father's funeral, but had immediately been commandeered by Sam to help defend the tribe from the increase in cold ones in the area.

As a tribal elder, I understood. As a mother, I wanted them with me.

I had grieved for Harry, but I had grieved alone. My children, however, hadn't had the opportunity to fully recover from their father's death.

Seth had dealt with all the upheaval and changes in his life remarkably well. He had expressed his grief and in many ways, I think that becoming a wolf and having a ready-built family in his pack helped him with the transition a lot.

Leah...

Well, what could I say about my daughter?

Always closer to Harry than to me, she hadn't coped at all. And who could blame her for it?

It wasn't just being a wolf, although being the first and only female in the tribe to ever change was difficult in itself: it was having to face her ex-fiancé and my niece everyday without chance of escape from them; it was having to share a mind with a gang of teenage boys, including her little brother.

I had cried like a baby when I had cut her hair so it wouldn't get in the way of her changing. I didn't trust any of those boys to do it instead. They wouldn't have understood. Later that night when everyone had gone to bed, I had taken a pair of scissors and mirrored the cut I had given her. It was an ultimately futile gesture, but I hadn't wanted her to feel alone.

I suspected, although I hoped it wasn't the case, that she blamed herself for Harry's death.

I had tried to talk about that day with her, to let her know that while what had happened was devastating, it wasn't her fault, but she had brushed me off and left the house, not coming back for another two days.

Over time she seemed to be coming to terms with it all a little better, but I wasn't sure if her new accepting outlook included me dating someone new.

Charlie was a sweet man, one whom I had known since childhood. I enjoyed spending time with him. It was lovely to have someone of my own age to talk to, especially as I was coming home to an empty house more and more often. Over time, we had become increasingly comfortable with each other, and now felt like the right time to maybe make our casual, friendly relationship something... more.

The last hurdle was to make sure that Seth and Leah were okay with me moving on.

I mean, if they weren't happy with it then I wasn't just going to live like a hermit. As much as I loved my children, I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Companionship was important. I would understand, however, if they thought it was too soon.

They were my babies and I wanted them to know that they were my priority, no matter what.

Charlie knew how important they were to me. He was a good man and we would remain friends even if nothing else came of our relationship.

"Hi Mom! That smells awesome." Seth breezed into the house and came straight to the kitchen, placing a quick kiss on my temple before he headed to the refrigerator for some juice. He turned and looked at me as he drank straight from the bottle. "Have you done something with your hair?"

I nearly laughed out loud. "No, not for a while."

He grinned and shrugged. "When's dinner?"

Turning away from him, I fiddled with the buttons on the oven. "When your sister comes home."

"Oh good." I heard the squeak of one of the chairs as he pulled it out and sat down on it. "She's on her way," he told me. "But she had another argument with Sam so she decided to take the long way home to calm down a bit first."

Closing my eyes, I cursed Sam Uley under my breath. This was hard enough as it was without him winding my daughter up beforehand. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes again, forced a smile on my face and fetched the food out of the oven. Stirring it to make sure the pot roast was cooked through, I dished myself up a portion and then put the pot on the table along with some bread and two plates. I would leave Seth and Leah to fight it out between them as to who got what. I had learned pretty quickly after they both phased that it was best not to come between them and food.

The bang of the door alerted me to my daughter's arrival.

"Dinner's ready," I called out.

Without looking behind me, I reached back and slapped the hand I just knew was creeping towards the plates.

"Wait for your sister," I scolded Seth.

Leah took a minute to come into the kitchen, but she arrived in the doorway she raised her eyebrows.

"Special occasion, Mom?"

"No. I just felt like making an effort for once." I fought the urge to squirm uncomfortably. This was my child and I refused to feel act like a guilty teenager in front of her. "You'd best sit down before it gets cold or Seth eats it all."

The threat of losing a meal to her brother was enough to spur Leah to sit down and immediately dig into the pot roast. Smothering a sigh of relief, I sat down at the table with my own plate.

The kids ate with gusto, quickly finishing their first portions and going back for seconds. I picked at my own food by comparison. The nerves were back in force and I struggled to swallow down even a few mouthfuls.

I couldn't wait any longer. If I did then the meal would be over, my children would disappear and I would never get the chance.

Picking my moment, I waited until both Leah and Seth had their mouths full and then blurted it out.

"Charlie Swan asked me to go on a date with him tomorrow and I said yes."

I waited for a reaction, but it never came.

Leah carried on shovelling food into her mouth with barely a breath between each forkful and Seth offered me a small smile before carrying on eating too.

I couldn't understand it.

Dropping my fork with a clatter, I glared at my children.

"Didn't you hear me?"

They exchanged a look that I couldn't interpret and then Seth sighed.

"We heard you, Mom," he finally said once his mouth was empty.

"Well?"

I waited for their shock, for their condemnation.

"Well what?" he asked, a puzzled look on his face.

I was completely thrown. "Well... don't you mind?"

He grinned at me. "Oh, we already knew. Well, we didn't _know_ know, but we knew something was going on between the two of you. I thought you were already dating him," he admitted guilelessly.

"Oh."

I hadn't expected that.

Charlie and I hadn't exactly hidden the fact that we were spending time together, but I had no idea that we were so obviously... friendly... that our children had noticed.

I had to make sure that they were okay with the situation though. I couldn't continue seeing Charlie if I knew that it was upsetting my babies.

"And you... don't mind?" I broached tentatively.

Seth shrugged, spooning more of the roast onto his plate. "Charlie's cool, and it's been good having him around since dad..." He paused and swallowed heavily. "As long as he makes you happy then I don't have a problem with you dating."

He smiled at me and then dove back into his food.

I was rather taken aback.

I already knew that if any of my children would be overly upset by my new...friend... it would probably be Leah – she was Harry's girl through and through – but I had never thought that Seth would take the news so calmly. I had at least expected him to have questions about what this meant for the future.

Leah, in the meantime, was still concentrating heavily on her plate of food.

She was avoiding answering, I recognised, but even though it might hurt, I needed to know what she thought about the whole situation.

"Leah?" My voice trembled slightly as I said her name.

She stopped eating and stared at her plate for a long time. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Seth shooting her concerned glances. I took it as a good sign that she wasn't shaking – at least this conversation wasn't making her angry or upset enough to phase over.

"I don't have to start liking Bella, do I?"

I nearly laughed out of sheer relief at her quiet question.

"No, not unless you want to," I answered.

She nodded. "Will he be here more often?"

Now this I was expecting, questions about our relationship and what would happen next. All I could do to reassure her was answer as honestly as possible.

"Not anymore than usual." I tried to reassure both of them. "At the moment we're just seeing how things go. Nothing might come of it but... we'll see."

She nodded again, but didn't say anything.

I waited as patiently as I could. I wanted her to be okay with this so badly, but at the same time I didn't want her to feel that I was ignoring her feelings for the sake of my own.

Her words were slow, carefully thought out. "I hope you'll have a nice time on your date."

Seth beamed at her from across the table. Helping himself to the last few bites of food, he looked at me expectantly. "Can I go out tonight? Quil's having a movie night."

I wanted to say no and tell him to finish his homework before school tomorrow, but he had so few chances nowadays to just be a normal teenage boy that I capitulated.

"Sure, but be back by eleven."

Waving to both of us, he shot up and left the house, still clutching the carton of juice he had taken earlier.

His swift disappearance left me alone with Leah. I didn't know what to say to her. She had tacitly given me her blessing to date Charlie, but at the same time she had kept her cards so close to her chest that I didn't know what to think.

There was nothing for it, I had to ask again.

"Lee-Lee, are you sure you're okay with me seeing Charlie? If you're not I'd rather you said so now."

Pushing her plate to one side, she finally met my eyes.

"I'm fine with it," she reassured me. "I like Charlie and I'm..." She took a deep breath. "I'm happy that you're happy."

I could sense her hesitance though.

"But?" I prompted her.

She sniffled and I noticed that her eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

"But sometimes I miss Dad so much, and it feels like I'm the only one."

Her sniffles became tears.

"Oh baby girl."

I went to her immediately and wrapped her in my arms. She clung to me tightly as she cried for the first time since Harry had died.

"It's okay, honey, it'll be alright." I stroked her hair rhythmically, hoping the familiar gesture would bring her some comfort.

My poor, beautiful Leah. She had been through so much already and now all I could hope was that finally grieving for her father would bring her some peace.

And in the meantime, I would talk to Charlie. Maybe it _was_ too soon, especially while my children were still fragile from their loss. Clearly there was still a lot of healing to be done and meanwhile we could still carry on being friends as we were already.

In my bones I could feel it was the right decision.

I would wait a little bit longer, reach out a little more to my children, no matter how busy they were, and in time we would be the better for it.

For now, there was only Leah and I, struggling along together.

We would make it though, I knew that for certain.

We Clearwater women were strong.


End file.
